No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize