Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
