My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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