im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
