Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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