i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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