the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
