have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize