marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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