ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
