So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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