I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
