Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
