I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
