your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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