We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
