I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
