You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
