Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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