dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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