i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
