Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Watching her eat just hurts me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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