definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
