Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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