you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
