omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
