:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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