We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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