So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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