I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
