they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
