Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize