I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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