based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
