Yo dont text me then not text me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
