I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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