I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
