i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
