Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
