he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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