First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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