every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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