i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
