I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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