I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
