I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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