Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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