i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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