Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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