how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
