Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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