In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
