I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Will you blow on my dice?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
