Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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