I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
