Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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