Plan B is the new Plan A
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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