Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
