Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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