you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
