theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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