i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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